Advocacy and Doulas

 

Advocate is a big buzz word in the birth world. There is no wonder there is some confusion when it comes to the role a doula has concerning advocacy regarding clients and at a birth.

The definition of advocacy as a noun is “someone who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy”. Merriam Webster defines it further as someone who “pleads the cause of another”, often specifically before a tribunal or judicial court.

A court case isn’t something we would expect or hope a doula would need to be involved in at all. In fact, doulas do not speak for a client because doulas do not have a legal right to make medical decisions for clients. So what do most people mean when they use the word advocate when speaking about the role of a doula?

Most of the time when a client is interested in having a doula present they are interested in having their voice and preferences be heard. This is why hiring a doula well before birth and working with one prenatally is so important. Professional doulas who stay within their scope of practice are well versed and trained in helping their clients learn how to advocate for themselves! Prenatal meetings to go over different options, childbirth preparation, birth option plans, ways to discuss important topics with providers, and navigate twists and turns as they come up during pregnancy is vital to empowering pregnant people to speak up and be heard. Preparing your partner to answer questions and ask for time to make informed decisions is part of the process as well. As a doula I am not going to make a decision concerning the welfare of your baby and yourself. I will give you unbiased information and remind you to ask informed consent questions, just like we have practiced in prenatal sessions. I can reference your written birth plan as well. Most of this work is done prior to labor so it is familiar and second nature.

Doulas are often advocates for evidenced based birth practices as a whole, in society. We form support groups and are members of national organizations. But if it seems like you are gearing up for a fight for evidence based birth practices with your birth provider, we would encourage you to look up ACOG’s recommendations and see if those recommendations are being followed. Honest communication between yourself and your provider is extremely important — expecting anyone — a doula, your partner, a sister to “protect” you from your provider may signal that this is not a good working relationship with this particular provider or perhaps there needs to be an open communication about the disagreement in care and expectation.

So while it can be a little confusing to answer outright if a doula is an “advocate” (in some ways we are and in some ways we are not), the main answer is we teach our clients to advocate for themselves and we are there to remind them how if necessary.

All Rights Reserved, 2019
Kimberly Sebeck, Knoxville Doula

If Your Husband Wants Family To Watch The Birth But You Don’t

There was a post going around on social media sites about a woman saying her husband was forcing her to have her in-laws in the delivery room but she didn’t want to, what should she do? The chosen answer was for her to challenge her husband to have a bowel movement and be naked, spread eagle for 12 hours, in front of her parents first. If he did so, then she should allow his parents in for the delivery.

Apparently a lot of people thought it was funny. And I get that it was a joke. It might not have even been real. Many things on the internet aren’t. However, it got me to thinking.. what if it was a real question? What would my answer have been to this woman?

I wouldn’t have used a poop/bowel movement analogy. Yes, there can be poop involved with birth. But that is such a small part of it and ignores all the beauty and wonder surrounding birth. A human– your baby, your child– is coming into the world! As for some bodily fluids that go hand in hand with this arrival, definitely think about only having people in your space that you would feel comfortable with seeing you at your most powerful and most vulnerable.

What I would have said instead to the woman is to encourage her to have her husband think of birth as an intimate time. As a baby is conceived, so it is born. Low lights, music, your partner’s touch and embrace all encourage oxytocin. When you think about it that way, most of us wouldn’t have our in-laws involved in the conception, would we? Most couples are going to choose/need some professional guidance during the process, it’s true, but professional midwives, nurses, doctors, doulas, etc, know professional boundaries and remain… professional. It is a different dynamic.

Another part of the answer was for the husband to be “spread eagle” for 12 hours. Well, that’s just silly. I have yet in 18 yrs of being a doula to see anyone be spread eagle in labor for 12 hours. Women labor differently, it’s true. Some remain quite modest and wear clothing or use sheets and others feel comfortable being naked but they do not sit around spread eagle for hours on end. Some like photographs of the birth and others do not. Some women are fine with relatives watching and that is okay, too. The woman posing the question was not fine with her in-laws being in the room.

An honest and open conversation with your partner is a good starting point. A childbirth class is also a good option to learn about labor and birth. Most educators will bring up a conversation about visitors and family as well as the need for privacy and how hormones of labor can be disrupted by interruptions. Bringing up what a special and intimate, relationship strengthening time labor and birth is sounds so much better than a poop challenge. Couples grow together as their family grows from two to three (or whatever number baby you are adding).

Kimberly Sebeck, Knoxville Doula 
All Rights Reserved, 2018

A Glimpse Into Postpartum Work

I have been doing quite a bit of postpartum doula-ing lately. More clients request my birth services but I really enjoy being hired to do postpartum work, too. Sometimes people are not as familiar with what a postpartum doula does, or doesn’t do.

My services are really quite flexible and dependent on what each family needs. Some moms have me come over and basically “pick my brain” about feeding the baby, newborn care, postpartum recovery, infant milestones,  etc., and that consumes the majority of my block of time. I choose to come over to a home for a minimum of 3 hours but it can certainly be longer. Other moms understand how important rest is and feel safe and relaxed enough with me watching over their new baby so they can go take a blissful long nap, with maybe a shower thrown in. Other families want to soak in every second of the newborn period with their baby and I do errands and simple household tasks. I also attend doctor visits like the first pediatrician appointment or a postpartum visit for the new mom.

I don’t do heavy cleaning. It’s far less expensive to hire a housekeeper than a postpartum doula. I do light tasks: loading the dishwasher, laundry, running errands, sterilizing breast pumps and/or bottles, putting together infant gadgets like monitors and swings, making a snack for mom or starting a meal for dinner. Speaking of dinner, I actually love to cook for my families especially if I am going to be there for a good amount of hours for the day. I give them a list of recipes that I am familiar with and good at and let them send me to the store or give them a list of ingredients to pick up. Imagine how good it sounds to have a knowledgeable person come over to answer newborn questions, perform household tasks, and then be able to enjoy my now famous chicken and dumplings or a refreshing summer salad. If the partner has already returned to work they can come home and focus on bonding and family time instead of working all day and then coming home to a list of things to do.

Frequently the question comes up of: what will we do for 3 hours? Once I am there and a mom sees how wonderful and valuable a postpartum doula is they often request more hours in a day. It might seem awkward at first to have someone in your home but that feeling quickly dissipates. I can be the person you confide in when you’re having some “baby blues” or postpartum mood disorders and I have the resources of where to get help. I can be the person who helps you ease into motherhood without any judgment. I can give suggestions about trying to get enough sleep, how to soothe sore nipples, and also dispel some of the misinformation given out by family, friends, and online sites. Having trouble figuring out your K’Tan or Moby? I will help you practice so you feel confident wearing your baby. Those sheets you have been sweating in, bleeding on, and leaking breastmilk into? I can change those out for fresh ones.

I will help you find your way to being the best parent in the manner that suits your lifestyle. One day you will be the one telling me what the baby needs and that is exactly how being a postpartum doula works. I work myself out of a job as you grow into parenthood and recover through the fourth trimester.

 

All Rights Reserved, Knoxville Doula, Kimberly Sebeck 2016

www.knoxvilledoula.com

 

 

Comfort Measures Class in Knoxville

The next Comfort Measures Class is Saturday, May 7th at 9 – 12 pm at Knoxville Doula’s ofice — 1400 N 6th Avenue, Knoxville, TN 37917

Cost is $50.00 per couple. We discuss the stages and phases of birth and how to stay comfortable as well as how your partner and birth team can help.

 

Tickets available: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/comfort-measures-for-childbirthrefresher-course-may-2016-tickets-22819606056?aff=ehomecard

New Class — Your Fourth Trimester

Find Tickets Here

By: Kimberly Sebeck and Autumn Synowiez

Event Description

The Fourth Trimester — this class will cover transitioning your baby from the womb to the world, caring for your postpartum self, therapeutic exercises to help heal after birth, developmental milestones, and much more.

Through my training and experience in the NICU and pediatric population as an OT, I have gathered different techniques and knowledge I cannot wait to share with you and your growing family!

Wear something comfortable! Bring any snacks and water for yourself. There’s a kitchen you can use as well.

There will be hands on practice and
exercises!

$75/couple
$60 early bird special if registered before February 6th.

Donate a ticket to a couple that would love to go!

Taught by Autumn Synowiez, OTR/L

WHEN

Saturday, February 20, 2016 from 9:00 AM to 12:30 PM (EST) – Add to Calendar

WHERE

Knoxville Doula – 1400 N 6th Ave, Ste D5 Knoxville, Tennessee 37917 Knoxville, Tn 37917 –View Map

Birth Plan Thoughts